It has been a few months since my last post for good reason - life has just been busy and hectic. Many times I have thought, I really should post what the Lord is teaching me. I just haven't done it in awhile but today I just had to share because I think based on my conversations with other moms, homeschooling and ministry or not, that what the Lord showed me today will help someone else.
For the past couple of weeks, if I'm completely honest, I have not read my Bible (except at church). I have barely spoken to the Lord except through tears of grief. It started out as a day that I had a lot on my mind and my plate. Satan got me with the lie that I was just too overwhelmed and busy to spend time in the Word and in prayer on my knees or otherwise. I believed him. I got out of bed and immediately started about my day without so much as a thought that the Lord was exactly who was going to get me through my busy day. Needless to say, I didn't get much accomplished and I remained frustrated all day long. The next day, I awoke to thoughts of what I had to do that day since I didn't get much done the day before. Before I knew it, yesterday (Tuesday, November 27th) was here. Again, I had another frustrating, exhausting, and busy day. I realized at about 9pm last night that it had been a couple of weeks since I last really read my Bible or spent any time in fellowship with the Lord. The Holy Spirit brought to mind Lamentations 3: It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. (Lamentations 3:22-27)
As I went to sleep last night, my thoughts were His mercies are new every morning. I will not start my day without spending time with Him. As I got up this morning, those thoughts came back to my mind but were fighting with the thoughts of all that I need to get done in the next few weeks. I knew I could not go another day without spending that much need time soaking in God's Word and seeking Him first (Matthew 6:33).
I began looking for a quiet place to sit and be with the Lord but everyone was already up and there was not a quiet place in the whole house. So, I put Joshua back in his bed and I sat in the living room to read and pray. At first I had difficulty focusing on what the Lord was trying to show me as is often the case when we are out of fellowship with Him. I got to the last three verses of the passage I was reading and I just started weeping.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30
This passage has been special to me since a warm day in early June 1989. It is what was preached the night I received Christ as my personal Savior. But this morning it had a different impact. The Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me that I do not need to go through my days carrying my own burdens. They are just too heavy for me to carry. If I will come to Him, He will give me rest and I do not have to do it on my own. It hit me that God knew from the beginning of time that I would not read my Bible for the past couple of weeks and that on this very day, I would need those words of comfort and encouragement. I was wrong for not seeking His face every single day and He was still merciful to give me just what I needed for this day. Praise His Holy name!
So, if you're like me and you are finding yourself overwhelmed, discouraged, frustrated, angry, etc., don't let Satan win the small battles of life. Stay in God's Word and talk to Him. He is always there to welcome you back into that sweet fellowship. He truly is good all the time! He will carry your burdens. As I was typing this, another passage came to mind and I want to close this post with it.
"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." -I Peter 5:7-11
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Living the Life of a Wife in the Ministry
Today's post is a bit touchy and difficult to write but it is all part of our journey into the ministry. My desire is to document that journey, the good with the bad. So, here goes!
Satan has been attacking me via other Christians. It seems my roles in the church as well as my role as a mother is in question. In the past year or so, I have taken on several tasks within our church and our homeschooling co-op. This has meant many hours for me and the kids spent at church. I will be the first to admit that I have not always handled those responsibilities in a way that was pleasing to the Lord. There have been days when my children have been put on the back burner due to my "work for the Lord" and I have gotten my priorities out of order. I have been, on many occasions, more than impatient with them. I have also placed a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of my oldest child. I am ashamed to admit all of that but I have asked the Lord and them for forgiveness and mercy.
Having said all that, I am a work-in-progress. I am a wife-in-the-ministry-in-training. I need the Lord each and every day to teach me what I should be as a wife, a mother, and a woman in the ministry. I need more experienced women to teach me by loving example and gentle direction. I need support from my church family as well as my natural family. I need mercy when I do mess up.
What you may not know is that the Lord is continually growing me as a wife, mother, and woman in the ministry. I have prayed and will continue to pray for Him to show me areas in my life that need to be changed. One of those areas I have mentioned in my two previous posts - NO DR. PEPPER and MORE WATER. As a result of this change in my life, I feel healthier and I am not experiencing as much pain. I have more energy to run with my toddler and I can still get other things done around the house and at the church. That was my goal - to be able to be a better wife, mother, teacher, and church member by being healthier.
After learning what others are saying about me and my parenting, I stayed up late into the night praying and seeking the Lord on the matter. He showed me, through His Word and through His people, that I am doing what I should be doing (not always perfectly but I am at least on the right track). I should not quit working at the church but I should always put my roles as wife and mother before church work. I just have to learn to balance the ministry to my family with my ministry at the church and in WACHE. All of this is part of living the life of a woman in the ministry. Yes, there are things that need to be done at the church but they are never more important than time with my family, loving my husband and training my children. My children are my mission field and what I am doing now will impact them for all of eternity.
So, if you see me getting things out of balance, I would appreciate loving words of encouragement to help me get things back in line with what the Lord has intended. I love being a part of the family of God and getting the opportunity to serve the Lord with gladness in my home as well as in the church. I just want to please the Lord in all that I do.
All that being said, I am reminded of a song I learned as a child and I still enjoy singing it.
He's still working on me,
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and Earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be,
He's still working on me!
Satan has been attacking me via other Christians. It seems my roles in the church as well as my role as a mother is in question. In the past year or so, I have taken on several tasks within our church and our homeschooling co-op. This has meant many hours for me and the kids spent at church. I will be the first to admit that I have not always handled those responsibilities in a way that was pleasing to the Lord. There have been days when my children have been put on the back burner due to my "work for the Lord" and I have gotten my priorities out of order. I have been, on many occasions, more than impatient with them. I have also placed a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of my oldest child. I am ashamed to admit all of that but I have asked the Lord and them for forgiveness and mercy.
Having said all that, I am a work-in-progress. I am a wife-in-the-ministry-in-training. I need the Lord each and every day to teach me what I should be as a wife, a mother, and a woman in the ministry. I need more experienced women to teach me by loving example and gentle direction. I need support from my church family as well as my natural family. I need mercy when I do mess up.
What you may not know is that the Lord is continually growing me as a wife, mother, and woman in the ministry. I have prayed and will continue to pray for Him to show me areas in my life that need to be changed. One of those areas I have mentioned in my two previous posts - NO DR. PEPPER and MORE WATER. As a result of this change in my life, I feel healthier and I am not experiencing as much pain. I have more energy to run with my toddler and I can still get other things done around the house and at the church. That was my goal - to be able to be a better wife, mother, teacher, and church member by being healthier.
After learning what others are saying about me and my parenting, I stayed up late into the night praying and seeking the Lord on the matter. He showed me, through His Word and through His people, that I am doing what I should be doing (not always perfectly but I am at least on the right track). I should not quit working at the church but I should always put my roles as wife and mother before church work. I just have to learn to balance the ministry to my family with my ministry at the church and in WACHE. All of this is part of living the life of a woman in the ministry. Yes, there are things that need to be done at the church but they are never more important than time with my family, loving my husband and training my children. My children are my mission field and what I am doing now will impact them for all of eternity.
So, if you see me getting things out of balance, I would appreciate loving words of encouragement to help me get things back in line with what the Lord has intended. I love being a part of the family of God and getting the opportunity to serve the Lord with gladness in my home as well as in the church. I just want to please the Lord in all that I do.
All that being said, I am reminded of a song I learned as a child and I still enjoy singing it.
He's still working on me,
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and Earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be,
He's still working on me!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Dr. Pepper Update
It has been exactly 15 days since I had my last Dr. Pepper. I am surprised at how easy it has been to stay away from it. Generally, when I have gone on "No Dr. Pepper" kicks, I crave it and I usually cave in after just a week or so. I wouldn't drink water (or much of anything else for that matter) while I was depriving myself of my favorite beverage.
This time has been completely different. I attribute that to the fact that I wasn't trying to change myself because that never works but I am allowing the Lord to change me. When I go to the grocery store and walk towards the soft drink aisle, I ask the Lord to help me. When I see a fast food commercial on T.V., I ask Him to take away those cravings. He has answered those prayers and then some.
Let me take you back to July 25, 1997. I was involved in a car accident that left me with a little bit of whiplash and torn muscles in my back. My back has not been the same since that day. Fast forward to November 5, 2006. I broke my left ankle while carrying my then three month old baby girl down some stairs (I missed the bottom one). I had surgery to repair my ankle five days later. My ankle has not been the same since that day. I now have two bulging disks in my spine as well as scoliosis. I experience referred pain in my hip and knee on a fairly regular basis. I also have arthritis in my ankle which hurts 95% of the time. At times, the pain in my body makes me seriously wonder how I am going to get around when I reach my 70s, 80s, and 90s if the Lord allows me that much time.
Recently, I began experiencing a great deal of pain in my back, hip, and knee and felt the need to see a doctor at my husband's persistence. My doctor referred me to an orthopedic clinic where I was told I am a good candidate for injections. I am not afraid of needles but I do not want to begin to go down that road. What to do? Physical therapy has helped me in the past but we do not have the finances for that. "Lord, what am I supposed to do," was my prayer as if I am able to fix my own problems.
On Tuesday, July 31, 2012, I woke up with the resolve to surrender all I am, all I want, and all I have to the Lord... that included Dr. Pepper. I made the choice to begin drinking water which I rarely ever did prior to that day. I had a headache that day and it would have been so easy to go into the garage and get a Dr. Pepper but I drank my water instead. After about a week of no Dr. Pepper and lots of water, I began noticing something. My back was not hurting as much. My hip and knee were not hurting at all. My ankle still hurt but that, I can live with. The Lord reminded me of something I had learned a long time ago... water lubricates your joints and the disk spaces in your spine. I had been putting harmful things into my body and those toxins were just weakening it. The water I have been drinking has been cleansing my body and providing some much needed lubrication. Praise the Lord! Now, when I start hurting, I drink my water.
As an added bonus, I am no longer craving fast food or chocolate and I was able to eat Little Caesar's pizza last night without getting sick (I have not been able to do that in a long time). I actually crave healthy food and have discovered a new love for yogurt. Why didn't I think of this before? Drink water!
I cannot help but praise the Lord for changing my heart and helping me to surrender to Him so that the next time my husband goes on a mission trip, I do not have to miss out because my body cannot handle it. I do not want to be a hindrance to my husband's ministry and I certainly want to be used of the Lord. I have been asking Him daily to show me other areas that I need to surrender to Him so that I can be used in His service for His glory. I challenge you to do the same.
This time has been completely different. I attribute that to the fact that I wasn't trying to change myself because that never works but I am allowing the Lord to change me. When I go to the grocery store and walk towards the soft drink aisle, I ask the Lord to help me. When I see a fast food commercial on T.V., I ask Him to take away those cravings. He has answered those prayers and then some.
Let me take you back to July 25, 1997. I was involved in a car accident that left me with a little bit of whiplash and torn muscles in my back. My back has not been the same since that day. Fast forward to November 5, 2006. I broke my left ankle while carrying my then three month old baby girl down some stairs (I missed the bottom one). I had surgery to repair my ankle five days later. My ankle has not been the same since that day. I now have two bulging disks in my spine as well as scoliosis. I experience referred pain in my hip and knee on a fairly regular basis. I also have arthritis in my ankle which hurts 95% of the time. At times, the pain in my body makes me seriously wonder how I am going to get around when I reach my 70s, 80s, and 90s if the Lord allows me that much time.
Recently, I began experiencing a great deal of pain in my back, hip, and knee and felt the need to see a doctor at my husband's persistence. My doctor referred me to an orthopedic clinic where I was told I am a good candidate for injections. I am not afraid of needles but I do not want to begin to go down that road. What to do? Physical therapy has helped me in the past but we do not have the finances for that. "Lord, what am I supposed to do," was my prayer as if I am able to fix my own problems.
On Tuesday, July 31, 2012, I woke up with the resolve to surrender all I am, all I want, and all I have to the Lord... that included Dr. Pepper. I made the choice to begin drinking water which I rarely ever did prior to that day. I had a headache that day and it would have been so easy to go into the garage and get a Dr. Pepper but I drank my water instead. After about a week of no Dr. Pepper and lots of water, I began noticing something. My back was not hurting as much. My hip and knee were not hurting at all. My ankle still hurt but that, I can live with. The Lord reminded me of something I had learned a long time ago... water lubricates your joints and the disk spaces in your spine. I had been putting harmful things into my body and those toxins were just weakening it. The water I have been drinking has been cleansing my body and providing some much needed lubrication. Praise the Lord! Now, when I start hurting, I drink my water.
As an added bonus, I am no longer craving fast food or chocolate and I was able to eat Little Caesar's pizza last night without getting sick (I have not been able to do that in a long time). I actually crave healthy food and have discovered a new love for yogurt. Why didn't I think of this before? Drink water!
I cannot help but praise the Lord for changing my heart and helping me to surrender to Him so that the next time my husband goes on a mission trip, I do not have to miss out because my body cannot handle it. I do not want to be a hindrance to my husband's ministry and I certainly want to be used of the Lord. I have been asking Him daily to show me other areas that I need to surrender to Him so that I can be used in His service for His glory. I challenge you to do the same.
Monday, July 30, 2012
I surrender all...or do I?
Often times, the Lord speaks to me through hymns. One such hymn is "I Surrender All" was written by Judson W. Van DeVenter after a five year struggle with the Lord. He was a successful art teacher and musician but he wanted to be a full-time evangelist. In 1896, he was conducting music for a church event when he finally gave his desires over to the Lord and surrendered to full-time evangelism. That is when the lyrics to the ever popular hymn came to be.
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
Chorus:
I surrender all,
I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken,
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
Repeat Chorus
All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit, -
Truly know that Thou art mine.
Repeat Chorus
All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
Repeat Chorus
These words have always spoken to me but more so since we surrendered to the ministry. We do not know where the Lord is going to send us, if we will be in danger, or how much support we will receive. That does not matter because we have surrendered our lives to the Lord for Him to do what He desires. Or have we? Yes, maybe we are willing to go wherever He wants us to go. Maybe we will give up a lot of the comforts this great land provides us. Maybe we will even go so far as to give our lives for the cause of the Gospel. But what about the day to day things? Like where we live, what car we drive, or what we wear.
Here is a tough one: what about what we eat or drink? I am referring specifically to my love of Dr. Pepper. I know they are not good for me but I am addicted. It is hard for me to admit that but most days, I feel that I need Dr. Pepper to function. Have I truly surrendered that addiction to the Lord? No! I have all kinds of rationalizations for why I "need" Dr. Pepper. I continue to drink at least one a day even though I know water would be so much better for me. I have recently been seeking the Lord's help in this area. I had to ask myself when my habit became a habit. The Lord revealed to me that it was when I was in college. I was not getting enough rest and I had more freedom being away from home. Part of my college fees went toward my meal plan which included $100 per month in Buff Bucks that I could use at the Burger King on campus. That I did! Every day on the way to class I would fill my 32 ounce WT mug to the brim with that cold, caffeinated, delicious liquid. I would sip on it throughout the morning and then refill it at lunch. If I ran out of Buff Bucks, I could not get my fill of soft drink and would have a headache and feel sluggish until my Buff Bucks were refilled. I went on this way for 3 1/2 years of school and it lasted until now. I would stop drinking Dr. Pepper for a time and then make the mistake of telling myself it was not that bad.
The Holy Spirit has been convicting me of holding on to something that is not good for my body which is a temple. Now I am ready to surrender. I know it will not be easy to do but I will pray daily (multiple times a day) that the Lord will help me to overcome this addiction. I am also blogging about it so that there is a sense of accountability. My prayer is that if you see me and I have a drink in my hand, it will be a bottle or cup of water (maybe an occasional cup of coffee). I can do this with the Lord's help and His alone. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
Thanks for allowing me to share one area that I am surrendering all to my Jesus. I am praying that the Lord will continue to show me things that I need to let go of so that I might better serve Him. Is there anything that you are still holding on to?
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
Chorus:
I surrender all,
I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken,
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
Repeat Chorus
All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit, -
Truly know that Thou art mine.
Repeat Chorus
All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
Repeat Chorus
These words have always spoken to me but more so since we surrendered to the ministry. We do not know where the Lord is going to send us, if we will be in danger, or how much support we will receive. That does not matter because we have surrendered our lives to the Lord for Him to do what He desires. Or have we? Yes, maybe we are willing to go wherever He wants us to go. Maybe we will give up a lot of the comforts this great land provides us. Maybe we will even go so far as to give our lives for the cause of the Gospel. But what about the day to day things? Like where we live, what car we drive, or what we wear.
Here is a tough one: what about what we eat or drink? I am referring specifically to my love of Dr. Pepper. I know they are not good for me but I am addicted. It is hard for me to admit that but most days, I feel that I need Dr. Pepper to function. Have I truly surrendered that addiction to the Lord? No! I have all kinds of rationalizations for why I "need" Dr. Pepper. I continue to drink at least one a day even though I know water would be so much better for me. I have recently been seeking the Lord's help in this area. I had to ask myself when my habit became a habit. The Lord revealed to me that it was when I was in college. I was not getting enough rest and I had more freedom being away from home. Part of my college fees went toward my meal plan which included $100 per month in Buff Bucks that I could use at the Burger King on campus. That I did! Every day on the way to class I would fill my 32 ounce WT mug to the brim with that cold, caffeinated, delicious liquid. I would sip on it throughout the morning and then refill it at lunch. If I ran out of Buff Bucks, I could not get my fill of soft drink and would have a headache and feel sluggish until my Buff Bucks were refilled. I went on this way for 3 1/2 years of school and it lasted until now. I would stop drinking Dr. Pepper for a time and then make the mistake of telling myself it was not that bad.The Holy Spirit has been convicting me of holding on to something that is not good for my body which is a temple. Now I am ready to surrender. I know it will not be easy to do but I will pray daily (multiple times a day) that the Lord will help me to overcome this addiction. I am also blogging about it so that there is a sense of accountability. My prayer is that if you see me and I have a drink in my hand, it will be a bottle or cup of water (maybe an occasional cup of coffee). I can do this with the Lord's help and His alone. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
Thanks for allowing me to share one area that I am surrendering all to my Jesus. I am praying that the Lord will continue to show me things that I need to let go of so that I might better serve Him. Is there anything that you are still holding on to?
Sunday, July 29, 2012
New Beginnings
I have been wanting to begin this blog for quite some time but have never gotten around to it. It is to serve as a place to journal things that the Lord is teaching me as well as to document our journey into and through the ministry. So let me take you back a few years.
June 8, 1989...
I was at Robbers' Cave State Park in Oklahoma at church camp when I realized that I was lost and I needed to make Jesus the Lord of my life. My life would never be the same because it was His (or the parts I would let Him have).
Summer of 1994...
I was again at camp but this time in Glorietta, New Mexico. I felt the Lord calling me to missions... nothing specific but I know that without a shadow of a doubt, He was leading me down a path towards becoming a missionary's wife.
A couple of years down the road
I was attending college at West Texas A & M and was an active member of the BSM (Baptist Student Ministry). We were given the opportunity to apply and interview for a summer mission trip. I jumped on that! One of the places was Australia (I have always wanted to go there). Naturally, that was my first choice but it was not up to me. I had to go before a panel who would review my application and interview me to see where would be the best fit. To my utter shock and dismay, they decided not to send me anywhere. I think I was one of the few who did not get to take a trip. I could not understand why and I spent many years doubting God's calling on my life.
June 27, 1998...
I married my best friend and childhood sweetheart. John is the son of a Baptist missionary and was raised in Brazil. However, he swore to me he would never be a preacher/pastor/missionary. What's that saying? "Never say 'never'!"
Fast forward to October 2011...
We attended our church's annual Missions Conference. Since I am in charge of the nursery program, I felt it was my duty to work in the nursery throughout most of the conference. I also made myself available during the day to help out with the missionaries' children so that they could attend the sessions. John decided he wanted to be there for all of it as well even though he had just taken a trip to Brazil that took him away from our sole source of income for two weeks. I did not question him because the Lord had over the years reminded me of my calling. I kept telling Him that it wasn't going to happen because my husband did not want any part of the ministry.
On the first night of the conference, I sat in the nursery and attempted to get the message via streaming video on my laptop. It kept cutting out on me but I knew that the parts that I had heard were exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear. I sat in the rocking chair with a sweet baby boy and just wept. I told the Lord that I would go where He wanted me to go but He was really going to have to work on my husband. Imagine me telling God Almighty that! After the service, John came into the nursery, and after 13 years of marriage, I knew something was going on. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "That was a really good message." He would not say anything else but I knew the Lord was working on him. So I began to pray in earnest.
On night #2, I was able to hear most of the message and it was exactly what my husband needed to hear (I was already on board and the Lord still "needed" to work on John). When I asked him what he thought of the message, he said that he had spent the evening in the video booth and did not hear much of the message. I thought, "Oh, great! He's hardening his heart!" (He later admitted that he was hiding from the Lord.)
On the third night (October 21st), I was able to go to the service and sit with my husband for the first time during the conference. Bro. Wayne Hudson preached and he may as well have been standing right in front of us and saying, "John and Rene', you need to..." We both felt as if the message was only for us. I prayed all through the service that if this was real, the Lord would reveal it to me that night. John was squirming in his seat and I could just sense the tension in his body. At one point, he turned toward me and put his arm around me with his head against mine. I prayed that we would end up at the altar but it did not happen since he had to lead the invitation (UGH!!).
On the ride home, we said very little. The kids were staying the night with their aunt and uncle so that we could attend classes at our church's seminary the next day. So we had the rest of the night to ourselves to talk. When we got into bed, John asked me what I was thinking. I told him that I did not want to tell him until he told me what he was thinking. He said, "I think the Lord is calling me into the ministry." HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF! I cannot remember what all was said that night but I do remember referring to him as Moses because he had all kinds of excuses why he could not do it. We both felt a calling to missions but nothing specific yet. John did not want to tell anyone because he was afraid of what they would think since we did not have a specific place on our heart yet. I wanted to tell our church family so that they could begin to pray for the Lord's direction.
The following day would prove to be especially difficult for John. I believe he was under direct attack by the Devil himself. He felt physically ill and he was extremely discouraged. However, the Lord fought for us. Even the lesson on Numbers in Old Testament History spoke to us. Then our Greek professor jokingly made a comment about us having the correct number of kids to be a missionary. I told John that we better tell someone because everyone else seemed to have inside information. So, he decided to go tell his mom when we got out of class. He still felt discouraged when we left there and there was nothing I could say or do but pray for him (us).
Later that afternoon, he came to me and said that he was going to talk to our pastor. I asked the pastor's wife and a friend to be praying. When he came back, he was lighter and able to smile again. He said he felt better. Praise God! He still did not want to tell anyone else. I was about to burst with excitement at what the Lord was doing in our life.
The next day was Sunday and we were having lunch after the morning service to wrap up the conference. John came to me and said that there was going to be a time for testimonies and he wanted to tell the church but there was one problem. We had not even talked to our children yet. So, we pulled them aside and sat them down. Drew was very excited! He said, "Really? Awesome!" Sydney did not have much to say and Joshua really did not understand. We went back to the gym and John shared our news with our church family. They praised the Lord with us and many cried. Some were surprised but many others were not. They had been watching the Lord at work in our life and a couple of people had actually been impressed to pray for us specifically, although they were not sure what they were praying for exactly. Wow! What wonderful affirmation that the Lord has great plans for us!
We received our Associates degrees in May and are continuing our education through Texas Theological University & Seminary. We are still waiting for the Lord to reveal His plan for us but until then we will prepare. We are so thankful and humbled that the Lord wants to use us to further the Gospel! Please pray for us as we continue to seek His will!
June 8, 1989...
I was at Robbers' Cave State Park in Oklahoma at church camp when I realized that I was lost and I needed to make Jesus the Lord of my life. My life would never be the same because it was His (or the parts I would let Him have).
Summer of 1994...
I was again at camp but this time in Glorietta, New Mexico. I felt the Lord calling me to missions... nothing specific but I know that without a shadow of a doubt, He was leading me down a path towards becoming a missionary's wife.
A couple of years down the road
I was attending college at West Texas A & M and was an active member of the BSM (Baptist Student Ministry). We were given the opportunity to apply and interview for a summer mission trip. I jumped on that! One of the places was Australia (I have always wanted to go there). Naturally, that was my first choice but it was not up to me. I had to go before a panel who would review my application and interview me to see where would be the best fit. To my utter shock and dismay, they decided not to send me anywhere. I think I was one of the few who did not get to take a trip. I could not understand why and I spent many years doubting God's calling on my life.
June 27, 1998...
I married my best friend and childhood sweetheart. John is the son of a Baptist missionary and was raised in Brazil. However, he swore to me he would never be a preacher/pastor/missionary. What's that saying? "Never say 'never'!"
Fast forward to October 2011...
We attended our church's annual Missions Conference. Since I am in charge of the nursery program, I felt it was my duty to work in the nursery throughout most of the conference. I also made myself available during the day to help out with the missionaries' children so that they could attend the sessions. John decided he wanted to be there for all of it as well even though he had just taken a trip to Brazil that took him away from our sole source of income for two weeks. I did not question him because the Lord had over the years reminded me of my calling. I kept telling Him that it wasn't going to happen because my husband did not want any part of the ministry.
On the first night of the conference, I sat in the nursery and attempted to get the message via streaming video on my laptop. It kept cutting out on me but I knew that the parts that I had heard were exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear. I sat in the rocking chair with a sweet baby boy and just wept. I told the Lord that I would go where He wanted me to go but He was really going to have to work on my husband. Imagine me telling God Almighty that! After the service, John came into the nursery, and after 13 years of marriage, I knew something was going on. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "That was a really good message." He would not say anything else but I knew the Lord was working on him. So I began to pray in earnest.
On night #2, I was able to hear most of the message and it was exactly what my husband needed to hear (I was already on board and the Lord still "needed" to work on John). When I asked him what he thought of the message, he said that he had spent the evening in the video booth and did not hear much of the message. I thought, "Oh, great! He's hardening his heart!" (He later admitted that he was hiding from the Lord.)
On the third night (October 21st), I was able to go to the service and sit with my husband for the first time during the conference. Bro. Wayne Hudson preached and he may as well have been standing right in front of us and saying, "John and Rene', you need to..." We both felt as if the message was only for us. I prayed all through the service that if this was real, the Lord would reveal it to me that night. John was squirming in his seat and I could just sense the tension in his body. At one point, he turned toward me and put his arm around me with his head against mine. I prayed that we would end up at the altar but it did not happen since he had to lead the invitation (UGH!!).
On the ride home, we said very little. The kids were staying the night with their aunt and uncle so that we could attend classes at our church's seminary the next day. So we had the rest of the night to ourselves to talk. When we got into bed, John asked me what I was thinking. I told him that I did not want to tell him until he told me what he was thinking. He said, "I think the Lord is calling me into the ministry." HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF! I cannot remember what all was said that night but I do remember referring to him as Moses because he had all kinds of excuses why he could not do it. We both felt a calling to missions but nothing specific yet. John did not want to tell anyone because he was afraid of what they would think since we did not have a specific place on our heart yet. I wanted to tell our church family so that they could begin to pray for the Lord's direction.
The following day would prove to be especially difficult for John. I believe he was under direct attack by the Devil himself. He felt physically ill and he was extremely discouraged. However, the Lord fought for us. Even the lesson on Numbers in Old Testament History spoke to us. Then our Greek professor jokingly made a comment about us having the correct number of kids to be a missionary. I told John that we better tell someone because everyone else seemed to have inside information. So, he decided to go tell his mom when we got out of class. He still felt discouraged when we left there and there was nothing I could say or do but pray for him (us).
Later that afternoon, he came to me and said that he was going to talk to our pastor. I asked the pastor's wife and a friend to be praying. When he came back, he was lighter and able to smile again. He said he felt better. Praise God! He still did not want to tell anyone else. I was about to burst with excitement at what the Lord was doing in our life.
The next day was Sunday and we were having lunch after the morning service to wrap up the conference. John came to me and said that there was going to be a time for testimonies and he wanted to tell the church but there was one problem. We had not even talked to our children yet. So, we pulled them aside and sat them down. Drew was very excited! He said, "Really? Awesome!" Sydney did not have much to say and Joshua really did not understand. We went back to the gym and John shared our news with our church family. They praised the Lord with us and many cried. Some were surprised but many others were not. They had been watching the Lord at work in our life and a couple of people had actually been impressed to pray for us specifically, although they were not sure what they were praying for exactly. Wow! What wonderful affirmation that the Lord has great plans for us!
We received our Associates degrees in May and are continuing our education through Texas Theological University & Seminary. We are still waiting for the Lord to reveal His plan for us but until then we will prepare. We are so thankful and humbled that the Lord wants to use us to further the Gospel! Please pray for us as we continue to seek His will!
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